Broken Lives
by deeplyshallow
Summary: The result of a friendship that had seemed far too close to be broken so soon after they had left school - the moment where Lupin's views of the past twelve years are turned on their head.


**For Candy – who I all but told to write that Dorothy/Fiyero thing for me :p. Merry Christmas!**

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He unfolds the parchment once again, looking at the blank page, the muttered words that could reveal a wealth of information ringing in his ears. He dares not say them out loud. The simple move that could save his late friends' son's life would also bring back a bombshell of memories that he is not sure he could cope with. Memories of happier times. His three best friends, two dead the other the cause of it.

Sirius. His normally calm face turns into one of anger at even the thought of his 'friend's' name. He would have never expected it, not it a million years. If someone had told him fourteen years ago that Sirius was working for Voldemort, that he would betray James and Lily and murder Peter, he would have laughed in their faces. Sirius do something which would have made his family respect him? Dumbledore was more likely to announce that he was in love with Grindelwald, Snape was more likely to find a pipe bomb in Hogwarts and start chanting his name to its ticking noise! Sirius would have never betrayed his friends. Or so he had thought – until that fateful night over twelve years ago – he'd have never believed it had the evidence not added up. He would have trusted Sirius with his life, now he can never forgive himself for trusting Sirius with James'.

He looks down at the map once again; he has been using it as his alibi for weeks. If he can see if Sirius has entered the grounds he'd not need to tell Dumbledore about his betrayal of his trust, unless he really sees Sirius in his dog form. Yet he has not once gathered the strength to look at the map and he hates himself for it. But tonight is different, if Harry is anything at all like James – or indeed Lily – he will already be walking down to comfort Hagrid, not even thinking about the risk he is taking. There would be no better opportunity for Sirius – no not Sirius – Black to pounce.

He gets out his wand and points it to the paper, closes his eyes, mumbles "swear I'm up to no good," too softly for even his own ears to hear him and waits. When he has the courage to open his eyes he sees the all too familiar cursive writing present the pride of his school years – their school years – the result of a friendship that had seemed far too close to be broken so soon after they had left school. Trying hard to ignore the sound of the collective gasps of the three boys, who had surrounded him when the map had first been unveiled, still lingering in his ears he moves his eyes rapidly to study the map. The first place they settle – as it always had been – is the boy's dorm, the very same one where he had lived for the seven best years of his life, now containing a Longbottom, a Thomas and a Finnegan but seemingly missing a Potter and a Weasley. A quick glance towards the grounds confirms his suspicions, both boys, along with Hermione are making their way towards the hut in the Forbidden Forest.

As they enter the hut he looks carefully around the surroundings for a dot labelled Sirius Black, but none of his fears arise, he watches as twenty minutes later they leave the cabin. Then he sees it, and the world turns upside down. Next to Ron Weasley's dot there is another miniature dot, the name beside it is the last he would have ever expected to see, Peter Pettigrew.

For a moment he just stares. How could this have happened? Peter was dead, murdered twelve years ago, he couldn't be suddenly with Harry and his friends. Unless… the image of Peter's rat form fills his mind... and he's sure he has heard that Ron has a rat. No! Surely that would be too outlandish a theory, the map was playing up. 'The Marauder's Map never lies!' young James, Sirius and Remus protest furiously in his head, days of work had gone into that map – there was no way it would falsely recognise anyone – never mind one of their own.

All internal arguments are silenced as he sees a second familiar name race towards the group, he watches it – although not as anxiously as he would have done moments before – as it collides, not with Harry, but with Ron and Peter and drags them into the tunnel below the whomping willow.

It takes him only a second to figure out what is going on – why this scene was playing out so differently to how he had expected – perhaps he has always known. They had changed the secret keeper, they had thought he was the spy. Once he would have been furious at them for thinking him the traitor, now all his anger was directed at the one who had betrayed them – all of them – the rage fills his body as he suddenly must help the man who moments ago he hated from the bottom of his heart, to help a friend that he had thought he had long since lost, to kill an enemy he never knew he had. For the first time in years he forgets the time of the month as he runs out his office; leaving the map – still open – sprawled across his desk.

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**MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE EVE EVERYONE!**


End file.
